We Deliver Love

My friend Samantha has started a new website called We Deliver Love. I think that this is a wonderful idea and this can be a great way to reach out to people during the holidays. You may not be able to sponsor a family or an angel from the Angel Tree, but this is a way that you can bake someone a batch of cookies or knit them a scarf or make a blanket. Whatever you would like to send as a way to encourage someone and say that they are not alone and that someone out there is thinking of them and wishes to encourage them. Wouldn't it be wonderful to open a package with a batch of homemade cookies and a note when you were having a rough time? Well here is your chance, I asked Samantha to guest post today because I want to help her spread the word, because I want this project of hers to grow, because I think it is a wonderful way to show that you care this holiday season.

The We Deliver Love project is all about people uplifting other people all over the country. Anyone from anywhere can be involved!
The concept is simple. You can nominate anyone you know personally who needs a pick me up or a thank you. There doesn’t have to be any specific reason to nominate someone. If they are someone you want to thank for always being there for you, someone who is in poor health, someone who has a lot on their plate right now… basically someone who could use a smile, go to our website and fill out the nominee form. Your nominee will be randomly matched with a volunteer who will send some type of homemade gif to your nominee.
Anyone can volunteer! Sometimes it’s difficult to find a way to help other people and feel like you’re making a difference. Here’s your chance! Visit our website and fill out the information requested on the volunteer form, and we will match you with someone who has been nominated! You can send them any kind of gift that you think will lift their spirits. This is all about encouragement, so send whatever you would, and feel free to include a note, your favorite quote, or decorate the box however you would like!
This all volunteer based. Every package, every thank you, every smile, every bit of gratitude will be because YOU helped. We can be the good in this world. We can make a difference for someone. YOU can make a difference for someone, even if you’ve never met them. Let’s Deliver Love!
Sincerely,
Samantha

To sign up to volunteer or to nominate someone here is the website :http://www.wedeliverlove.com/

Leslie

Welcome to the New Blog

I have been wanting to buy my own site for a while now, so as of today my blog is now at mayapapayamom.com ! I have been working on it all day, but I have been very sick since Thursday, so it is about as good as it gets for now. I will have a new post on Monday. Now I am going to go lay down!!

The Sweetest Things

Sometimes you just have to step back and appreciate the small things in life. Josh and I are moving to Richmond, VA in March and while I am completely ecstatic about this, I have been letting all the what if's control my thoughts lately. So after some prayer and some wise words that came out of my own mouth, I am taking a step back and focusing on today. There are so many sweet things to focus on today and everyday. So write them down, and when you are having a crappy day, you can read them and remember the sweet things in life.

Here are mine.:

1. Listening to my sweet baby girl sing. That sweet innocent voice that can't even talk well, can make beautiful music with her little voice.
2.When my little boy, out of nowhere, says "I like you, Momma."
3. When my two oldest daughters spend time together without fighting.
4. The silence when everyone is finally asleep for the night.
5. Spending time together as a family doing something fun.
6. The drive to visit Nashville when Josh and I get to have long conversations that go mostly uninterrupted.
7. Looking at old pictures.
8. Christmas Morning.
9. The first signs of spring after a long cold winter.
10. The love of my parents, my husband, and my kids.

Those are my sweetest things, what are yours?

Leslie

The Eleventh Rule

11. You don't always have to love being a mom.

There, I said it,  it is true. You don't need to feel guilty about this, it is okay. Although no one really likes to admit this and some of you will adamantly disagree with me, dig deep, it's true. Now don't confuse this with not loving your children, etc. This is the everyday job of being a mom. For example, those days when the baby is being fussy and you really need to get dinner done, but she won't let go of your leg. The days when you are PMSing in a major way and  everyone decides to be difficult. The days when you realize that you have a teenager now and you are struggling to find your new place in her life. When after being your best buddy since birth, you are suddenly the dorky mom who just doesn't get it anymore.The times when you just want to go to the bathroom alone for goodness sakes. How do they even know you went in there? You just sat them down to eat lunch.

I used to (and still do)sometimes feel guilty or like I was just not cut out to do this. The truth is no one is really cut out to do this. It is more like learning to master a skill that is always changing and you have to constantly take new classes to adapt to the new circumstances. It is hard work. There are fun and happy times but there are also those times when you just aren't going to have it in you. There will be days when the things that usually roll right off your back will send you into crazy, angry lady mode. It just happens, we cannot be all things at all times. I was watching Mad Men the other day and all those moms ever seemed to do was smoke! We try to be organized, the chef, keep a clean home, go to all of the activities, play with our kids, work, etc. We cannot do all of these things all of the time and we have to learn to be okay with that. Accept that some days you are going to be super mom and some days you will just not get anything done.

Understand that things are not always what they seem. I have been very surprised at times to hear my friends admit that they aren't always calm and patient. I thought it was just me and that most other mom's were perfect all the time. Well guess what? No one is perfect and in fact, we are way less perfect than we like to portray to others. I think we sometimes put way too much pressure on ourselves to do everything just so, because we don't want to be judged by other moms. And as mothers and women we are really too judgmental of moms that don't do things exactly the way we do. We really need to stop this, and try to be more supportive and transparent. We need to hear that it is not always making crafts and baking cookies together, so we don't feel like a piece of crap mom for not doing that stuff all the time. Honestly, I don't usually get the kids to bake cookies with me, because it makes a HUGE mess for me to clean up. And I do feel guilty, but they sure do enjoy eating the cookies, and I can enjoy eating with them instead of cleaning the 1/2 cup of flour they poured on the floor. So there, a confession from me!

Being a mom is a wonderful, important and beautiful experience, but it is hard work. There are constant hardships that come with it and it is okay not to be perfect all the time. Sometimes we are going to have a meltdown, but it is okay, because your kids already know that you're crazy. They are very forgiving, AND they can keep a secret. ;)

Leslie

Rules of Being a Mom

When I was a teen, my mom used to encourage me to babysit to make extra money. This was not really something that I cared to do, so I would always say no. I think eventually she came to understand that I just really did not like kids, so if anyone ever asked her if I would babysit, she probably saved me from having to do so. I have just never been a "kid" kind of person, I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. When I graduated from high school, I was moving to California, going to Pepperdine, and then I would get a job. When I did have kids, after the age of 30, they were going straight to daycare, because I was not staying home. And then everything changed.

They say when you make plans God laughs, well He did and so did my mom. In October of my senior year of high school, I found out I was pregnant. I have no idea how this happened, since I was a virgin at the time. Yes. True Story. All kidding aside, this was not something that I ever thought would happen to me. I was not "that" kind of girl. Something changed inside me that day that I found out I was pregnant, and I knew there was no way that I could not have this baby. These odd feelings of love and protection came over me and I loved this thing that was growing in my belly. I didn't know anything else about being a mom, but I knew that this odd new feeling was probably part of it.

I still remember being huge when I walked across the stage at graduation, and I was pretty mortified, but I had worked very hard to graduate that year, and I was going to walk. I think I was probably the only girl that graduated that year that had a husband and her own apartment. Of course this was just the beginning of a long journey that I am still on today. A long clueless journey that you fumble and stumble your way through, because once you think you have this thing down, nothing that you have learned so far, works on your second child.

I will never forget the day I had Alyssa, Josh and I had spent the day with some close friends, and had not been to bed that night when the contractions started at about midnight. They were slow going, but around 2 am they were still coming and we headed up to the hospital. It was a long night and my blood pressure was way up, and I had no idea that this was not a good thing. I will never forget the contraction when my water broke and the pain went from mild to "I need the epidural now" in a matter of seconds. But a couple of hours later this sweet messy baby was laying on my chest and Josh and I were crying, our hearts full of a parents love for a child.

Alyssa was a wonderful baby, and those first few weeks, my mom was a big help to me. I remember calling her at midnight bawling my eyes out that I needed help, and she got up and came over and rocked Alyssa so I could rest. Alyssa finally got into a groove and at 2 months old slept all night long. I loved getting her dressed and would spend time picking out the perfect outfit for her. She was just beautiful and I really enjoyed being a mom. I enjoyed going to the grocery and cooking meals for my family, and I found out I was a lot more nurturing than I ever thought that I could be.

And now thirteen years later, I have four beautiful children that I love more than anything. I have picked up a few things along the way, but if I had to sum up my "Rules of Being a Mom", here are my top ten.

1. Make sure that your kids know without a shadow of a doubt, that you love them no matter what.

2. Expect the unexpected, never put your kids in a box, everyday,week,month, year, brings new challenges. Know this now: You will always be wading in uncharted territory, accept this fact, it is to your benefit.

3. Remember that your kids are kids and allow them to be that. Let them enjoy the only time in their lives that they can be innocent.

4. Listen to them and  don't minimize their problems. No matter how young of a mom you are, trust me, you don't remember as well as you think you do what it is like to be a kid or a teen.

5. All of your children will be different, which means that you will have to discipline differently. What works for one child does not always work for the next.

6. Pick your battles. You have to learn to let go of some things, even if they drive you crazy, you cannot pick at everything.

7. Make sure your kids know that (even if you really don't) you care about what they are saying to you. Listen to them just as you would if you are having a great conversation with a friend.

8. Be consistent. If you have decided this is where you are drawing the battle line, don't retreat. This is a hard thing to do,so make sure it is something important enough to dig in on. Especially when dealing with teenagers. With toddlers it is much more simple. Kids need to understand that while you are willing to be flexible on some things there are times when no will always mean no.

9. Show a united front, you and your husband must always be on the same page in front of the kids, if you need to discuss something do it in private.

10. Hide. Take a few minutes to yourself. Obviously, this will never happen in the bathroom when you have toddlers, and in my case also a 7 yr old, who comes barging in the bathroom regularly to ask me trivial questions. Whether it be nap time, whatever, take a few minutes to have quiet time, read a book, pray, stare at the wall, take a few moments to yourself daily.