Saturday, July 20, 2013

Thoughts on Being Brave

I have often asked myself why it is so much easier for me to communicate on Facebook with people than it is in person? I am sort of an introvert so I don't really do small talk very well or maybe I do small talk very well and have trouble with the connecting deeper stuff. As much as I try not to be, I can be a little pre- judgmental of others, I look at someone and think that we probably have nothing in common, when that really may not be true at all. The truth is that most of the people who I have the most in common with or that I am drawn to, I may not have noticed at first or just assumed that I probably have nothing in common with them. The great thing about Facebook is that you can safely get to know people who you might not have otherwise connected with. The downfall is that you may not be interacting with the outside world around you because that is so much harder. It is hard to get to know people and it is especially hard to open up to people. It doesn't always feel safe to just be yourself around someone because you aren't sure of how they will react to you.  It is easy to have friends over when you have cleaned your house, but who can you have over even when it's dirty? What will they think when they see you without having vacuumed or mopped first? Who can you say anything to without them getting uncomfortable and shifting in their chair? Can you ever just say how you really feel? Do you have people in your life that you can just be yourself to? I do, but they are mostly online or live too far away, maybe because it is easier to talk to people that you already know will not judge you. If they do or treat you badly you can just delete them and not have to worry with them anymore. It is so much easier than trying to know people in person. I am certainly not discounting my Facebook friendships, because they mean a lot to me. Especially when you can say what you need to and be encouraged and be told that you are okay and cared about. But what would also be nice is if I had the courage to have some of these people that I could forge that sort of friendship in real everyday life. Sometimes it is very hard being a quiet, introverted person, because you miss out on opportunities because you have no clue what to say or even the courage to say it. That is sometimes how I feel, as though I have collected a lifetime of missed opportunities. So how do you push yourself to think differently and take risks that you know may pay off and contribute to you being a happier more fulfilled person? So that you know that you are living your life more purposefully so that you don't have so many regrets. I know that I need to try harder to make those deeper connections but I also have to know that it is safe to do so before I do it. Part of me wishes that my frinds and my Facebook friends all lived close to me so that I wouldn't have to do the legwork, because it is already done. But I know that is just not possible. So how does one go about being brave? Right now I don't know all of these answers, but I hope that I will figure it out.

2 comments:

  1. Leslie, I love this: "It doesn't always feel safe to just be yourself around someone because you aren't sure of how they will react to you. It is easy to have friends over when you have cleaned your house, but who can you have over even when it's dirty?"

    That is EXACTLY. VERBATIM. How I feel! Which is why I decided to do no Facebook for 40. Because I want to challenge myself to forge the kind of friendships you are talking about with real, live people around me, as well as connect deeper in my friendships with people met through Facebook, near and abroad.

    I know how you feel. I know exactly what you mean. And I completely identify with the "lifetime of missed opportunities" feeling. I believe that confronting your truth as it is now is the first step to changing your truth into what you want it to be. Please know that while i am not near-by, I am happy to navigate this "forging deeper friendships with real people around me" journey with you - even if from a distance! And I'll do my best to be _real_ with you; and you're welcome to be your real self with me. I wish you all the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so glad you like it! I try to be as real as possible on here! I am enjoying getting to know you in real life too, even though we are far away from each other!

      Delete